The Secret of the Life–Petting a Puppy Dog

            Petties, it’s the fuel that makes a puppy dog’s tail wag. Without petties, life is meaningless. Every dog wants petties and only people have the power to make petties happen. When petties occurs, a puppy dog releases Vitamin C—more on the importance of Vitamin C later.

Why do puppy dogs have nightmares? One category of bad dreams is being chased by a fifty foot kitty. Note to readers, don’t tell or show your puppy a ligar, the combination of a tiger and lion—they’re very tall kitties and they don’t meow. Another puppy nightmare would be all people having Tyrannosaurus Rex arms and not being able to reach puppy fur—now that’s nightmare! Meanwhile, back to the most important thing in the universe—petties.

Who is qualified to pet a puppy? That’s a trick question, anyone can pet a puppy.

When can someone pet a puppy? Another trick question because anytime is a good time for petties. Under the table petties during dinner, two in the morning petties, it’s all good. In fact, you can tell someone’s character if they pet your dog. Petting dog equals a good impression.

Where can someone pet a puppy? Wow, three trick questions in a row. Why just about anywhere—just refrain while driving, unless stopped, while visiting the dentist, carrying groceries, or juggling flaming chain saws.

How much petties should you give your dog? That’s simple. Wait for the tail to stop wagging or for something more important to come up like food, sleep, play time or walkies. This is like asking how many potato chips should you eat—one is not enough.

Finally, what do you get when you pet a puppy? This is very important. Besides while a whole lot of tail wagging and puppy kisses might occur, a puppy, when petted releases Vitamin C. Now this isn’t the same Vitamin C you get from citrus products, this version is better. You see, when a puppy gets petted, a whole lot of cute gets released, (cute is the C in Vitamin C) and when you pet a puppy, everyone wins.

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